April 2008
How Things Even Out →
One day, you ask people to take a look at a skin rash you have. Then, a few days later, you’re looking at their rashes. You send someone a death threat and then, mysteriously, the police come to your house and threaten you. Maybe you find a nice flat pebble on a riverbank, and when you pick it up and throw it it skips across the water several times. But then the next pebble you can’t even pry...
5 Trends I Just Made Up Looking Around The Office →
I didn’t know that not being a lesbian while not wearing a dress is a trend, but that’s why I read: to learn. Apparently, though, sometimes these Urbane Tomboys (UTs) wear dresses. So what defines them? Um, basically everything. And at the same time nothing. This is a trend I can get behind: basic human existence.This piece was obviously written by the year 1942—probably...
My Songs About Topsoil Say What I Can't →
I was only 8 when we moved to the farm in North Dakota, but even then I had certain feelings about the topsoil—feelings that I did not know how to express. Back then, I didn’t know where the emotions came from, much less how to put them into words. I was young, and had a lot to learn about myself, and even more about the chocolate brown soil that kept a whole mess of good people fed. When...
March 2008
The Paper: Trailer →
This is me 5 years ago, except less cool and not as neatly edited. (via beekeepersclub)
Attn: tax evaders, embezzlers, et al.: My Super...
From hellofriend: Some government worker’s daughter was probs watching My Super Sweet Sixteen, he dad probably asked her to turn it off until he noticed something quite interesting: As viewers learned, Ariel’s dad was a successful oilman. “I love oil. Oil means shoes and cars and purses,” Ariel exclaimed to the camera as she and her father stomped around oil drilling sites in the muddy...
'It might make dragons that eat us up' →
Four Kittens, One Coke Box -- Two minutes of bliss →
Dancer Risks Everything →
Although she stood to lose her friends, her family, and everything she had worked for her entire life, classically trained dancer Cassie Lisbon, 18, put it all on the line Saturday night when she performed a highly controversial ballet/hip-hop-fusion routine at the Chicago Academy for the Arts’ annual spring recital.“It was like my whole life was just preparation for that one...
Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box →
After weeks of being sleepy all the time and never finishing his din-din at night, area daddy Howard Lewis was put in a bye-bye box early Monday morning so that he could go on a vacation with the birds and clouds in the sky. Daddy, who was tall and strong and liked going to the hospital to play with their fun machines, was put in the bye-bye box at a big, white house where everyone had a party for...
“As every educated American knows, the third season of MTV’s flagship fake...”
– This otta’ make Mattucci’s head explode. Or at least he’ll pass out drinking. The Hills drinking game (via beekeepersclub)
Where have all the great mustaches gone? →
The perfect reason to actually follow NASCAR. (via mattmattucci)
WatchWatching this video is trainwreck-painful. And twice as funny.
From the sad ideas vault comes ... →
“Like lots of other twentysomething women, I’ve been an unswerving Obama girl from the get-go,” wrote Noreen Malone on The XX Factor, the Slate magazine blog written by women. “Oddly enough it’s taken Spitzergate — not Hillary’s tears, not her scolding — to make me less dismissive of the feminist ‘obligation’ to vote for a woman.” Sorry I missed that one, Slate. I guess that means I’m...
Teams to hate →
I blame Bo Ryan, the coach who has created a top program in Madison by installing all manner of defensive tactics while forgetting the game is supposed to be entertainment. To use a soccer analogy, the Badgers always appear to be playing for a draw but manage to get enough muscled-in offensive rebounds from the likes of Brian Butch to get past the league’s weak competition. Wisconsin will...
Can’t Grasp Credit Crisis? Join the Club →
I’m here to urge you not to feel sheepish. This may not be entirely comforting, but your confusion is shared by many people who are in the middle of the crisis.Maybe there’s something wrong with our financial system of college educated finance professionals don’t understand its tools and regulations. Just a thought.
Ugck. (Jeal) →
'Care for a Me-L-T?'
Ms. Hello New World: GUESS WHO I TALKED TO TODAY????
Me: who??????
Ms. Hello New World: i'll give you a clue: he has the best (last name) in the world ever
me: KEVIN BACON??
Ms. Hello New World: oh yes, the bac
“Mattucci has garnered respect not only in his professional field, but in the...”
– LT grad Mattucci tunes into his radio roots - Geneva, IL - Geneva Republican I’ve been saying this for four years. My Suburban Life could have totally got a better anecdote out of me, too. Bastards. (via hellofriend)
"Bitch may be the new black, but black is the new... →
'IU as a No. 8 seed? That's just hateful.' →
Apparently, the committee started watching IU two weeks ago.
WatchThe world’s greatest tattoo. Mateo had this, but big ups to BJ for making me stop to watch it.
Internet for pornography, not voting: former... →
Poles should not be allowed to vote online because the Internet attracts people who watch “pornography while sipping a bottle of beer”, a former prime minister told his party’s Web site.
Photoshop Disasters →
via beekeepersclub I’d reblog a funny photo, but blogger is lame.
Passengers Bravely Take Down Plane Showing Big... →
WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Aviation Administration announced today that United Airlines Flight 43, which crashed outside Parkersburg, WV last Thursday, was in fact brought down by passengers who voluntarily sacrificed their lives in order to prevent the screening of the in-flight movie selection, Big Momma’s House 2. Crews search the crash site, just hours after Flight 43 went down. All 105...
Scary science mumbojumbo!!!1!. →
A tiny chemical “brain” which could one day act as a remote control for swarms of nano-machines has been invented. The molecular device - just two billionths of a metre across - was able to control eight of the microscopic machines simultaneously in a test.
Stuff White People Like: #84 T-Shirts →
Many people and cultures view t-shirts as a simple piece of apparel that can be acquired cheaply and worn in casual situations. For white people, it’s never that easy. The t-shirt is one of the most complex and expressive items in their entire wardrobe.T-shirts fall into three categories: vintage, new, and unacceptable. The most prized t-shirt category is vintage. As shown earlier, white people...
The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks →
Maybe they are trying to communicate that if you come in the church, you won’t actually be crucified.
Family Of Five Found Alive In Suburbs →
Bill Holsapple, 41, wife Meredith, 39, and son Jay disappeared in June 1993, when, two months after Jay’s birth, the family of three left their Chicago apartment for parts unknown. The three were not heard from again until Monday, when they were found in the suburban wasteland known as Buffalo Grove with two new family members, Kimberly, 4, and Jordan, 2. To protect themselves from the...
For some reason, I always thought it was God's... →
Windows to hell: Real dialogue from Windows... →
Microsoft vice-president for Windows: “(Thanks to Vista,) I now have a $2,100 e-mail machine,” he says. Official response from Dell: “Customers … expected more than could/would be delivered.” Microsoft program manager: “… even a piece of junk will qualify … It will be a complete tragedy if we allowed (computers to be labeled ‘vista...
Bob Dylan moved to (coherent) words →
This story reminds me of something I read in a wise atlas: “Brazil: People at their most beautiful, humanity at its ugliest: Boasting some of the sexiest people ever to be stabbed repeatedly at night, Brazil is home to perhaps the most attractive victims of carjacking, robbery, and violent assault in the world.” Any chance to reblog The Onion …
Big ups Good magazine →
In the 1980s and 1990s, a plethora of free programs were aimed at kids in the neighborhood, but today there are fewer and fewer free programs to keep them busy. Even Seward Park, where the kids played sports and massive block parties were held, has gotten a makeover. Its lawns are manicured, and the parks department now charges fees to use the sports facilities, prohibitive to most (families from...
Today's why you are inferior: 101-year-old man... →
Boo! Buster Martin is an unlikely candidate to set a marathon record. He drinks beer, smokes cigarettes and stays out late. And he’s 101. But Martin expects to shatter, or at least ease past, the record next month when he runs London’s marathon. And he is counting on having a beer at the finish line.
Dear Old People,
Stop ruining this for us. You know, us, the ones that are likely to spend the next 55 or more years on this planet. You might call us “young ‘ens” or whatever fits your diction. Anyway, we need a favor. See, your ignorant damage to the environment, predilection for big-government, blind acceptance of cronyism and love of paternal legislation has left our generation in a lurch. ...
What's that? To Catch A Predator was overhyped... →
The Internet will not destroy our civilization.
Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle →
Click.
Le sigh, Nader is right ... →
Single payer healthcare is the only universal healthcare. Obama and Hillary don’t support single payer. And Nader didn’t lose the election for Al Gore, Al Gore did. That said, Go Obama!
A great conversation, edited for brevity
Ryan: have you ever seen this show: little people, big world
it's about two parents
who are lps
little people
Sam:
hahaha, that sounds wonderful
Ryan:
(midgets) is derogatory
and they have kids
three are regular size
one isn't
reality show on tlc
pretty good
Sam:
ahahahahaha
amazing
Ryan:
hey have you head any of the (relatively) new iron and wine disc?
it's really good
Sam:
yes
i like it, but i don't love it
Ryan:
right on
i think it's pretty stellar
Sam:
its great background music -- which is not to be understated -- but i don't reach for it when i want to really listen to something
Ryan:
that's when you reach for that toto
when you really want to listen to something
