I now present to you Smoove’s Happiest Memories Of When We Were Together:#5: That time I broke you off nasty outside of that club.
#4: Making love until the dawn on Christmas morning.
#3: The night you invited your friend Cherise into our bedroom and I then hand-fed both of you the succulent berries before getting freaky with both of you in my whirlpool.
#2: The many nights you rode my pony until I couldn’t take it anymore.
#1: Waking up before you, and just holding you in my arms until you woke up and then hitting you doggy-style until you lost your mind.
I always read Smoove’s columns in Leon Phelps’ voice.